The White Hat

The White Hat

Rehan had always been adamant throughout his life, caring for none but himself. He had never bothered to ask any of his relatives or friends how they were doing. He had never entertained any suggestions from anybody on any of the decisions that he had made in his life. His parents had always wanted him to be a professor, but he wanted to taste the flavor of the software industry. He had experienced several romantic relationships in his life, expectedly, none of them lasting long enough. The fact that he is so self-centered, he almost ignores the existence or importance of others in his life.

But nothing lasts forever. Two incidents within a span of seven days morphed his life radically. The girl who he was finally be able to be comfortable with, reprobated him suddenly. For the first time, he looked shivered. The fact that someone had left him, wasn't anything unusual. However,  the way he reacted to the betrayal, was really unusual. This time he was more serious, more involved in the relationship and that's why probably he was taking more time to get into his groove.

A week later, something worse was waiting for him. He got royally screwed by the renowned multinational software company that he was working for, since the last 5 years. It happened without any prior notice, giving him very little time to cope with it. That lousy afternoon, when he walked out of the office premises, all he had with him were a pink slip and a world full of ordeal.

Rehan was wondering whether he had any reasons left to live for. For once he walked down the memory lane to Rohtak, his birthplace, the place where his parents live, the place which he left for Kolkata for the job he got 5 years back. He couldn't call his parents and tell them what happened because he had never discussed his problems with them. Tanya, his ex-girlfriend, who he could have called up to find some hope, had dumped him already. He had never made good friends anyway, all he had made were classmates, neighbors and colleagues. He's been a commitment freak in every sense.

Rehan was in search for a miracle. He was in search for a hero who could get him out of his miseries. They always say that Kolkata is the city of joy; there's something in the air of this city that would intrigue you, tantalize you. But how wrong could they be! There was no sign of hope.

Rehan headed to his flat at Karunamoyee unwillingly, knowing that tomorrow he won't have to get up at the sound of the ringing alarm in the morning. Not that he was thrilled to be at his workplace, but it was something that he had. His parents are wealthy enough and financially he would survive, but what does he have here now? What's the point? Thinking about all this, he was about to unlock the door knob. Suddenly he got a pat on his back. He looked back and there was a pretty lady standing at his doorsteps. She was elegantly dressed up.

"Excuse me! Could you please get me a knife? " --The lady presented an unorthodox request in the most casual manner.

"Yes, I guess I could! But why would you need a knife?" --Rehan was left bemused.

"There's a secret." --Then she went for a pause, looked back suspiciously as if someone is following her and requested, "Can I please come inside? Of course, if you don't mind!"

Rehan couldn't remember when was the last time so many unexpected events happened to him in a single day. It is kinda overwhelming. He didn't know whether he should let her in because these days people are hard to be trusted. In addition, the lady was behaving far from being normal.

"What drove you to this pensive mood? See, I'm not a terrorist. Had I had been one, I wouldn't have wasted my time chattering with you! Neither do I belong a gang of robbers who would rob your belongings!"- The lady had gone restless, getting no answers from Rehan.

Rehan was left with no options but inviting the young lady in.

"Thanks a lot! Although it proves you are stupid. I wouldn't have let anyone inside in this fashion if I were you! Now please have a seat because I have something important to tell you."-- In the meantime she somehow managed a chair to sit on. Rehan was so perplexed that he couldn't say anything in reply. But he could find one spare chair for himself to sit on at least.

"Now listen carefully and don't say anything until I'm finished."

"But who are you? Where are you from? Do I know you? And what are you doing here anyway?"-Questions kept pouring out in a flash from Rehan's mouth, as if they just got out of the jail.

"See, I am here to ask for a knife. Now don't laugh at me just because I'm searching for a knife. I need a knife to go commit suicide. Now that I'm going to suicide, what would you do knowing my name? "

"Wait, what? You're going to attempt suicide? Oh, dear me! How on earth did you think that I would let you to do something like that, here, in my home?"

"Hey, chill! I'm not going to do that here. I have only asked for a knife. Rest is not your concern! No sooner I will get a knife, than I will leave your place."

"Now that you've unfolded the mystery, why would I give you a knife knowing that I might get into trouble in future?"

"Because you had allowed me to enter in your place knowing that you might get into trouble! Didn't you?"

"You're a psychopath! you truly are one! Now don't create any more scenes or I have to take other steps."

"Call police, maybe? You think they'll believe you?"

"What do you want? A knife? wait!" -Rehan rushed to the kitchen and brought a knife with him in a hurry."--"Take it and leave me alone.' 

"Thanks! Actually I don't have a penny left to buy one! Before asking you, I asked few others to give me a knife. But when they heard that I was going to, you know, kill myself with that thing, they thought I was mad, they started insulting me, refused to listen to me, unlike you. So I owe you big time! Sadly I don't have anything to give you, absolutely nothing."--The lady had already been off her seat.

That change of tone was rather unexpected. Rehan felt a thousand feelings in one moment. He was unnerved so deeply that he felt that he should ask the lady the reason behind the suicidal mission.

"But why? Why do you want to suicide? "

"Why do you live? Why do we live? What's living according to you?"

Rehan wasn't prepared to answer this.

"I understand. You don't know what living is all about. You've probably never given it a thought! That's okay. "--The lady smiled and then continued-"We all live for reasons. Some have many, some have a few, some are left with only one reason to live for. When you are left with none, you get to know what living was all about! I hope you never get a chance to understand that, but unfortunately I do."

-- She was on her way to depart. Rehan got a feeling that he had to stop this lady from doing anything silly. He was not sure whether she was telling him the truth or not, but one thing he was sure was that she needed treatment.

"I think you need to consult a specialist."--Although it sounded stupid in his head too, he couldn't help but give her this piece of advice.

"You think you're the first person to suggest me to do so?"

"I honestly feel you can discuss your problems with me, even though I'm no more than a stranger to you."

"And you'll bring my dead father back to life and you'll make sure that my dying mother is cured when the reputed surgeons have given up?"

"Oh God! I.." -Rehan didn't know how to complete the sentence.

"Just shut up. I'm bored of hearing sympathetic speeches. You wanted to discuss , right? Let's discuss." She sat back on the chair.

"I just want you to calm down. Please have a seat. Just relax! I understand that life hasn't been fair to you. But you must admit that attempting a suicide can not be a solution. Mustn't you? "

"That's not all. We had a small family. It's been six months since my dad passed away in a car accident. My mom lost her memory in the same accident and since then she hasn't spoken a word, hasn't recognized anybody. For the last one month her health condition is on a decline . She was expected to undergo a heart surgery today at Apollo, provided I could arrange the money today. And guess what? I lost all of it in a crowded bus an hour back. And you are asking me to calm down? Fair enough, right? Oh, wait! I missed one thing! One month back, I was alleged of being irresponsible at my workplace because I was more concerned about my dying mother's health than what I was assigned to work on. And I knew that the situation was never going to change. So I resigned."--When her roller coaster speech ended, she was trembling in excitement. 

"Were you out of your mind? You knew you had to stand firm. " - Rehan got vexed with her as she was seemingly behaving like an escapist. He was wondering how he got so much involved with her problems. Minutes back, all he was concerned about was his future, how's he going to survive, who's going to obviate his sufferings. Having spent a few minutes with this troubled and somewhat insane lady, he has come to know that there are people who are more troubled than him. 

"Saying is easy! Have you ever spent sleepless nights? Have you been used to live alone, absolutely alone, knowing that nothing is ever going to change?"

Rehan remained silent. Although he wished he could tell someone what he was going through, he decided to take control of his emotions.

"I knew you wouldn't utter a word. Need I say more?" --The lady smiled, flavored with a touch of sarcasm.

But Rehan was not going to lose this battle so easily. He understood that he had to depict one reason that could be enough for the lady to emend her stubborn decision. He set his mind up, he knew he would do everything to save a life, come what may!

"Yes you do, young lady! Have you ever contemplated why are you alive and able to talk to me? Because your mother gave birth to you. Have you ever pondered why were you able to leave your job and yet able to spend hopeless nights silently? Because you love your mother immensely. People live with hope even when there are no signs of it. Tell me one thing! You are distressed, you have nothing to cling on but you are still dressed up so elegantly. Do you know why? Let me tell you the reason. Everyday you wake up with the belief that today is the day your mother will recognize you and speak to you. You dress up well because you want your mother to smile and say to you- 'There you are, my beautiful child'. Had your purse not been stolen today, you would have carried the money to the hospital by now. Do you know what your mother would be saying to herself, had she had senses to feel?" ---Rehan didn't know that he could speak so spontaneously. Rehan didn't know that he could be so engaged in a conversation. 

For the first time, the lady seemed to be uncertain. She couldn't maintain eye contact with Rehan. It was evident that she was thinking about something. Rehan was getting irksome with the awkward silence.

"What would she be saying to herself? " The ice was broken. Rehan could literally literally heave a sigh of relief. 

"That her child is a coward! How easily have you decided to put an end to your life! You have to fight. Now that you have spent painful nights with all your heart, you must not let it go in vain. You understand what I'm saying? You must not let it slip." - Rehan literally felt trembles in his hands.

"What would I do then? I have nothing left." She nodded her head down in hopelessness.

"I have. When's your mother's heart operation scheduled? Are we too late?"

"What? No, not at all. I can't take help from you."

"Why not? "

"Why do you want to waste your money on me? You want to show how much you have got or want to purchase my loyalty?"

"But how? I don't even know your name and I don't want to know unless you want me to know. See I'm in no mood to discuss bullshit with you! You think you're are only person who is troubled? Today I got fired from my job. I know you have problems of greater magnitude but try to understand why I'm doing this. I don't want you to die. You got my point?"

"I didn't know. I'm sorry. I have become a psychopath and I know that. But still I can't take your money unless I get to know why you are being so generous. You are a sensible person. You could have listened to my bullshit, consider that a made up story and politely ask me to leave your place. Why didn't you do that, mister?"

"Because I would have become you, had I had not met you! I could have become as hopeless as you are now, had I had not met you! I was searching for a white hat, someone who is often brought about to put an end to all miseries in books and films." - Rehan smiled but felt that his eyes were getting wet.

"But I'm no white hat." - No surprise that the lady seemed to be flabbergasted.

"Don't worry! You will understand, if not today, someday. Give me five minutes. I'm still wearing formals." -Rehan paused for a few seconds, indicated towards the wash-room and continued- "In the meantime you can freshen yourself up."- Rehan promptly left his chair. When he entered his room, he heard a faint yet continuous sound of crying. Rehan felt relieved, he realised that he had perhaps saved a life. 

And then Rehan Shergill called professor Karanveer Shergill up. When the receiver picked the phone up, Rehan didn't give him a chance to speak. 
"Dad, I'm coming home. Tell mom that I'm coming home! " And then Rehan disconnected the phone. 

Rehan was feeling happy. He didn't know that there was happiness to be discovered in calling his father up, and in letting him know that he was coming home. 

When Rehan came out of his room, he saw that the lady sitting on the same chair, looking straight at him. Only change he could gaze was her smile. Yes, she was smiling!

"Hi! I'm Aheli, Aheli Basu." The lady revealed her name with a smile in her pretty face.

"Hi! I'm Rehan Shergill! " - Rehan returned her a smile. "Shall we?" 

"Yes, sure! I want you to know that you have saved a life! And that's not the only thing. You gave me hope. You made be believe in life. And I honestly don't know how to thank you for that! I just hope there's a way I can pay you back. "

"You need not mention it. Any half decent human being would have done the same thing!" - Rehan replied while locking the door from outside. 

They were walking. They were not talking to each other. Aheli was thinking how Rehan had saved his life. She was wondering how Rehan remained so unmoved, as if he had done the same thing before, as if he had gone through a rehearsal before the final act. 

Rehan was thinking about his mother. She used to tell Rehan a story whenever Rehan used to be in a bad mood in his childhood. The story is about a hero who appears, when called upon, to wipe out the suffering of common men. Rehan got to know how it feels to get helped by a hero, saved by a hero.  

One thing his mother had never told him, even when she used to stay up late beside him whenever he got sick. He knows his father, he's a hero! He single handedly rebuilt the fortune of their family, made it flourish! But he never discussed about that thing. Maybe that's what it takes to be a hero! Maybe that's the thing that all the heroes need to hide from the world, even from their loved ones. And all of a sudden, he's found a secret that he has to keep. That's what he didn't want to discuss with Aheli. 

Aheli was wondering why Rehan had gone so silent, suddenly! Little did she know that Rehan had finally discovered what he was searching for, a white hat!