A question, unanswered

There she is, in yellow pullover and blue leggings, with a wide smile, as she always has, on her face. Not long ago, his heart used to skip a beat or two, watching her approach towards him.

"There you are. I was beginning to wonder whether you'd show up today at all." - Abir greets Keya.
"You know I'd have apologized if it wasn't you". -Keya makes herself comfortable on the couch, just opposite to Abir.
"Always taken for granted, huh!"
"You know that I've cancelled a plan with my husband to meet with you here. You better have a strong reason to back that up."
"Oh, I do have a strong reason. You'll see. It's not everyday I ask a married woman out on a date."
"I'm kinda hungry. I think we'll have some time to discuss on this drama of yours."
"Go on. Order Chinese."
"Very funny! Don't act like you have me all figured out, just because I always order Chinese!"
"Oh, I'm claiming nothing." -Abir pauses for a moment to order the food.
"What's with the emergency meeting, Abir?"- Keya is genuinely curious now.
"Yeah, we'll come to that. I'm just waiting for the Soup to arrive."
"Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. So you're about to tell me something that you know will piss me off."- Keya is not getting any less curious.
"You're right." -Abir is getting himself ready for the moment of truth. He's genuinely not sure how she's going to react.
"What on earth have you done?"
"Listen. Before I say anything, I want you to know that this incident happened in the past and..."
"In the past? Who is this about? Is this about Sneha? Because I always thought you had feelings for her." -Keya doesn't let him finish.
"Would you let me finish, and then pass on your judgement, please?"
"Go on."
"Something happened 3 years back, here, at this place only..."
"Here, at Marcopolo?"
"Yes. Remember, we celebrated Nairit's birthday in 2017 here?"- How could he forget? That was day when he got hit by a thunder out of the blue. He had known Keya for a long time, they were good friends, but that sudden attraction was unprecedented. It's like someone took him to an entire different world at that moment and left him there. And he didn't know what to do or how to react. It felt like he experienced a thousand emotions at the same time. 
"Yeah,..No..Maybe, but wait, why is that relevant?"-Keya tries to remember but fails.
"Oh, it's relevant. You'll see. Oh, your soup is here. Help yourself."
"Why are you not having any of it? Are you on that peculiar diet routine of yours?"- Abir used to be on a low-carb diet a few years back. 
"Nothing like that. I had a heavy breakfast, that's all."
"I mean, no offense, but this is your treat, right?"
"I haven't gone full insane, not yet. I ask someone out on a date, I pay. Simple..."
"Oh, in your dreams!"- Keya is enjoying her soup, as well as the chance to mock Abir. He's certainly one of her good friends, she doesn't have many of them.
But she is getting growingly suspicious about his plan here. What's with this sudden emergency meet?
Abir smiles and does not say anything. He seems distracted by something.
"Hey! Where are your manners? You bring someone on a date, you give them your full attention. Dating rule 101." -That's the thing with Keya. Once she has food on her plate, she starts speaking in fluent sarcasm.
"You're weird, you know that, right? You were all grumpy when you didn't have food on your plate. Now look at you, all charming and funny."
"You sure you don't want a bite? This is quite an awesome Sizzler that..."
"Yeah, I'll have a few bites."
"A few? I was being polite when I offered you a bite. More than one? You order your own plate, buddy!" -Keya literally covers her plate with her hand.
"It's funny." - Funny is Abir's type; anyone that knows him well, would know. And Keya is funny, well, she isn't the most funny person he's ever met, but she is. She's smart, she's beautiful, she's caring. And he's known her for like, 8 years. They met at one of their common friend, Gairik's college fest, for the first time. Their vibes matches instantly. They have been spending time, on countless occasions, with each other or in groups since that day. But somehow he never had any feelings for her, well, at least, not until that cursed evening scared the hell out of him.
"What is?" - Keya is clueless.
"No point in beating around the bush, my friend." - Abir pauses as he tries to frame the right words in his mind. He doesn't want to ruin this moment. Time has come.
"Well, yes?" - Keya is intrigued now.
"Remember you said you're glad that nothing ever happened, I mean romantically, between us. You've had a lot of friendships ruined because of this. I'm not sure if you remember..."
"I do remember, Abir. And I meant every word of it. But what's your point?"
"And you're also glad that I have never approached you, I mean..."
"Romantically, yes. You're such a hippie at heart, you know that, right? You have filings every alternative day. Can you deny?"
"Well, I'm officially hurt. That's not fair, Keya." - Abir tries to lighten the mood here. He knows that things may get heated up soon.
"Oh, come on! Stop acting like a kid. Come to the point."
"The point is I lied, well, technically I didn't lie. I just didn't admit the truth. I had feelings for you. Well, I had; focus on the past tense before you say anything."
"What the hell? Is this a joke?"
"Let me finish. No, this is not a joke. I didn't have feelings for you, untill that evening in 2017, during..."
"Birthday celebration of Nairit. Now I can relate. That's why you brought me here. Wait, what are you planning to do now? This changes things between us, you know that, right?"- Keya is somewhat pissed now, she could never sense this. Why didn't he tell her earlier about all this?
"I know you have a lot of questions. But it was an unusual situation for me. I couldn't believe what was happening with or around me."
"That's not even the point. You lied to me."
"No, I didn't. You didn't ask me particularly. I just didn't correct your wrong assumption."
"Is that supposed to be funny?"
"You still don't understand, do you? I was not attracted to your sense of humour or wit. I was infatuated with your appearance, it was physical attraction. I was totally taken aback, I was left speechless, I couldn't believe what was happening there. That had never happened to me before prior to..."
"You mean you got attracted to your friend sexually but couldn't tell her. So you're saying you never got physically attracted to any other person prior to that evening? You expect me to believe that?"
"It wasn't just physical attraction, my friend. I fell in love with you. It took me two months to get that feeling out of my system. I have been attracted to women before and after that evening. But never have I ever been overwhelmed by a rush of feelings, all at once. Now go on, judge me."
"Why didn't you tell me then? It's not that you are shy around women. I know that for a fact."
"I was ashamed. I was scared. I couldn't look into your eyes directly. Because you used to be that good a friend of mine. Not that you're not now, but..."
"Let's get out of here, Abir."
"What do you mean? I can explain." - Abir 
is puzzled now.
"I know you can. It's just that I'd rather have a walk while listening to the mess that you've conjured up. It's quite chilly inside. I bet it's warm outside, it's well past 2 now."
"If you say so. Excuse me for a moment, let's get this thing sorted." -Abir gets up in a flash, literally gets hold of the first waiter he sees, accompanies him to the waiter who took their orders, stands still until the bill is generated, pays, comes back to Keya, makes an assuring eye contact to let her know that they're good to leave now. 

"That was quick."
"It had to be. I didn't want the moment wasted."
"That's bullshit..."
"Winter afternoon and Park Street, what a heavenly combination! What do you think?" - Abir is feeling a lot better now.
"You need to be honest now. I need to know everything."
"You know I have always considered you as my go to friend, someone who I can call up anytime, someone who I can share any damn information with, someone who I can discuss politics and physics on the same day. That would have changed had I been honest with you about my feelings..."
"That's not true. You should've told me about it."
"And then what?"
"I don't know, Abir. It's not 2017."
They didn't notice that they've already reached The Indian Meusem by then.
"You know, I tried to tell you on that night itself." - Abir breaks the silence.
"Go on."
"I was going to ask you out. Then I wanted to know from you if you had any plans on the Valentine's day."
"You did?"
"Yeah, but I made sure I asked that in a subtle manner, making no fuss."
"You and your planning. What do you get doing all this?"
"At least I made sure I didn't lose a friend."
"You don't know that."
"Come on, you had plans with your boyfriend, Tuhin. I mean he's your husband now. I shouldn't have said that. But it's not the point. What moron proposes to a lady knowing she has plans on the Valentine's day?"
"Someone who's desparate enough, someone who's madly in love with her. I guess you weren't there, were you?" -Keya makes a very good point.
"I guess you're right. But then again, you know I have had a bad experience in the past. I had to make sure I was cautious. I didn't want to..."
"Make me uncomfortable."
"Exactly. See, now you see the point."
"So why now?"
"I needed a closure."
"I don't understand. Do you still have feelings for me?" -Keya had to make sure he doesn't have any feelings for her now.
"No."
"You could've chosen to not let me know. I mean that's what you were doing anyway. So what changed?"
"I had to make sure. It's been long, I got rid of the feelings..."
"How long?"
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"I want to know if I can still be friends with you." - Keya makes a serious face.
"You're kidding, right?" - Abir, unable to read anything from her face, had to ask.
"You'll never know. Now tell me, how long?"
"A year, maybe."
"A whole year? How did you manage to keep it a secret? And wait, how did it pass?"
"I have my own coping mechanisms. And you know how it is, it passes when it's supposed to pass."
"How did you cope?"
"I can't tell you that. They save me when there's no one beside me. They protect me." - Abir gets all pumped up now.
"So one fine morning you woke up and you didn't love me anymore?"
"Exactly. But I still love you, as a friend. Damn it, you're more than that, you're family, Keya. I hope you know that."
"I don't know how to react."
"I know. It'll pass."
"Now who's being sarcastic?"
"Well, that'd be me."
"Did you realise that we have reached Maidan?" - It's true. They've cruised to Maidan.
"Winter, my friend. It doesn't let you sweat."
"It's about, Sneha. Isn't it? You love her but you want this burden off your shoulders."
"You're wrong. Well, you're half right. I do have a thing for someone for a while now. But that's not Sneha."
"Who is it? Have you let her know?"
"I will, today. I just wanted to meet you at the place where I started having..."
"Feelings for me. I think I can forgive you now."
"Thank you. I knew you'd understand."
"Just one thing though."
"What is it?"- Abir responds but Keya realises that he's lost in some thought once again.
"You never wanted to know what would have happened if you decided to go ahead with your proposal that evening."
"Does it matter?"- Abir still seems lost.
"It matters to a lot of people."
"Maybe. But some questions are better left unanswered, aren't they?" -Abir looks Keya directly into her eyes. There's a different kind of determination that she sees in his eyes now. Sometimes it's really difficult to understand him.
"What now? Call her up, then." -Keya insists.
Suddenly Abir's phone starts ringing. Speak of the devil and there she is. She's calling him, what a pleasant surprise.
"She's calling." - Abir is literally trembling in excitement.
"Pick up the damn phone, idiot." - Keya is not impressed with the lack of intent that she's observing in Abir.
Abir picks up the phone, just when it was about to stop ringing. He Walks a few steps away from Keya while talking. Keya understands that he needs privacy.
But when she sees him hang up the phone within a minute, she assumes the worst.
"What happened?" - Keya walks to get near to him.
"She's in love."
"That's wonderful. Why are you making a poker face?" -Keya seems to be elated.
"With someone else."
Naturally, awkward silence catches them off guard.
"How did all this happen? When did she get into a relationship?" 
"Today, when I was having lunch with you."
"What the hell? And you didn't know? How can you not know if the woman you love, loves someone else?"
"I'm particularly an expert in this subject. I didn't know back then. I didn't know today." -Abir sees the fun here.
"It's not funny. You do realise that you could have ended up being in a relationship with the woman you love if you hadn't planned this stupid meet with me today?"
"Love is a very strong word, Keya. I wouldn't use it, just for the sake of using it. I would have asked her out, that's all. But our meeting, today, was important otherwise I wouldn't have understood."
"Understood what?"
"If I was being unfaithful, if I had the slightest of doubts that I might not be over you yet."
"That's bullshit. It's been two years. You don't feel a thing for me. What more do you need as signs? Don't you see what's your problem? You think too much. You mess up by planning too much." -Keya is seriously disappointed the way Abir handled the situation.
"You yourself said that I'm a hippie at heart. I was just trying to be a homie."
"And in doing so, you lost her. That's the price you pay for your stupidity." -Keya is not planning on giving him a break.
"It's funny, isn't it?"
"Everything's funny to you. You think this is some film where you're some failed protagonist, and an invisible director has got a master plan to get you whatever you want, in the end?"
"That's right. How did you know?" - Abir can't stop being sarcastic now. Well, this is his coping mechanism. What can he do?
"You moron." -Keya attempts to slap him on the face. In doing so, she had Abir losing his balance. He was already standing at the end of a railing, just by the main road. He fails to keep his balance and starts falling. 

Keya tries to hold him so that he does not fall. She succeeds to hold a part of his shirt but that wasn't enough. In the process, she falls too, fortunately on the safer side of the railing. But Abir falls on the main road. A car was approaching and Keya shouts with whatever energy she had in her, at that moment. But the car was already too close by then. 

For a fraction of second, while falling, he saw Keya trying her best to drag him towards safety. At that point, he felt a different kind of peace in himself, it's like he finally got to know how to crack the code, how to find peace amidst all the chaos. He wanted to thank Keya for helping him find himself, but it was too late. He hit the road at the same time the car hit him. Moments before everything went dark, he heard a defeaning sound, felt a kind of physical pain that he'd never felt before and found a kind of happiness that he'd never found before as he wasn't curious enough to ask the question, that, according to Keya, a lot of people would have died to know the answer to.