The Eternal Squabble

The Eternal Squabble

He was sitting in front of me. He was directly looking at my eyes. I was feeling uncomfortable. So I decided to break the ice.

“We need to talk.”

“Go on kid. I'm here to listen to you.” – His voice was commanding although he is my friend. In fact, he seems to be my only friend now-a-days. He always listens to whatever bullshit I talk about. The perks of having a friend who always appears before you whenever you need him, is inexplicable.

I know I'm losing control easily. I'm getting agitated at flimsy incidents. I do not anymore like the food made by my mother. I'm not actively participating in the sports debates which I used to crave for. Often I am seen sitting at my bed doing nothing.

“I don’t know where I'm headed towards. I'm confused.”– My voice sounded so gentle that I myself found it difficult to listen to.

“What are you confused about?” –I was surprised that he could listen to what I said.

“Everything.”

“Easy, chap. One by one.”

“Dude, she doesn't love me anymore.”

“Janvi? She never liked you. She was always waiting for someone better. I wish you could read her intentions. You could have found a better match for you in college.”

“What do you mean by someone better? Am I worthless?” –I was getting agitated although I was pretty sure that he was making more sense.

“Get over it, brother! You were in a relationship with a right girl at wrong time.”

“It’s not that easy for me. But how do you get over things so easily, dude? You too used to love Doyel. She dumped you. Don’t you get mad at her at times?”

“Why are we discussing this?” – For the first time I saw him losing temper.

“Don’t get me wrong. I just need to know the process. I may get helped.”

“OK but I guess we have already discussed this on multiple occasions. It was an incident back at school life. We were not matured. We didn't know how to protect a relationship. We used to quarrel on everything. But with immaturity, comes dependence. We were emotionally dependent on each other. We both feared that we might lose each other. She broke up with me when she became matured. She realized that she didn't anymore need me to be happy. That’s it.”

“You wanted to be a cricketer, if I'm not wrong. Don’t you hate yourself being an engineer?”

“Oh boy! You seem to be in some form today! – He poised for a few moments and then continued- “It’s good to dream. But at the same time you need to stay grounded. You can’t just ignore reality to chase your dreams. To be a cricketer was never a feasible option for me. And I don’t hate being an engineer. You can’t hate something just because that’s not your first choice.”

I knew the person sitting in front of me, is stronger than me in all aspects. He is realistic but I'm not. I always wanted to be a writer but was made an engineer, just like my friend. The problem with me is that I never learned to love something which isn't my first choice. There’s nothing wrong with the people who I misbehave with. It’s just me who cannot blend with people who don’t stay at the top of my priority list.

“I get that dude. But sometimes I feel terribly lost. Sometimes I don’t find anyone to share my feelings with. Sometimes..”

“Isn't it true that you always find me then?”

“Exactly. How can you always be conscious about me?”

“You think too much, dude. The less you think, the more you do. You can’t just sit idle for 24*7.”

“But you know that I'm still unemployed. Most of my friends are already employed. That fuels the inferiority complex in me. Do you understand?”

“Do you know what’s wrong with you?” –He seemed to be getting angry.

“What?”

“You expect too much. Just do your part of the play consciously. The rest you can never control.”

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Just let go of the expectations, my friend. Do whatever you want to do. Cry whenever you want to cry. Smile whenever you want to smile. You don’t need to conceal your emotions inside your polished clothes. Show people the real ‘you’. The more you become close to real you, the less you’ll need me. Have you ever thought why don’t you see me when you behave like yourself? Why don’t you need me when you are happy? Why don’t you wish I would be here beside you when you are busy doing things?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I..” – I was shaking my head like an insane. I could have fallen from my bed to the floor had my mother hadn't steadied me with her gentle arms.

I do not remember everything that followed this incident. My mother looked grim and nervous. Her hands were trembling for I don’t know why. With her was a person with an injection syringe in hand.

I heard my mother saying- “Please doc, please. Save my child with whatever you have got. I can’t stand and watch him decay like this.”

So the person with a syringe was a doctor who seemed familiar to me. I may have seen him before. Am I under treatment? What’s going on?

The syringe was soon applied on me. Everything went dizzy soon after that.

I heard the doctor saying to my mother- “Don’t worry. This happens to be a very common depression which doesn't last for long. You just have to treat him well.”

Moments before I lost my senses, I saw myself looking at me from the other side of the mirror glass. I saw myself smiling at me. Am I smiling? I heard myself saying to me-“Cool down, brother. Cool down. Don’t lose hope. Have faith in yourself. The more you believe in yourself, the less you’ll need me. I'm no more than the best of you. The day you’ll defeat the conflict hidden inside, you’ll see the true colour of you. Till then, hold on to what you have!”

Topsy-turvy

Topsy-turvy

(1)

Muddled is the word that probably suites Kabir's character the best. He has never been a rebel but has been nurturing hatred towards fixed canons since his childhood. He wants to keep things disordered. He either arrives an hour early or an hour late to the place he is expected to appear. He either disturbs his friends so much that they get pissed off or doesn't keep contact with them for months. He will either wish you at 12:30 am on your birthday or will give you belated birthday wishes the very next day. 

Talking about birthday wishes, Kabir had his 27th birthday celebrated yesterday thanks to his colleagues at his workplace. He also had a surprise birthday party at his home last night as some of his childhood friends are still not as unsocial as he is now-a-days. Even they didn’t know whether this surprise party would make him happy or not. Whenever you ask him why he is so unsociable, he will give you hundred reasons why being social is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person. Yet he loves his family and whatever small circle of friends he has got.

When the party was about to end, Arya, one of his friends decided to spill the beans-

“Dude, she got divorced recently. I hope you don’t mind. I mean, I just wanted you to know…”

“I know.” –Kabir’s replied in the most casual manner.

“Wait, what? You knew that Sohini got divorced? And you didn’t bother to tell us. That’s great! You know this is getting too much, right?” –Hameed was literally bemused.

“Oh shut up! As if you guys didn’t know! Aren’t you overreacting? All of you arranged this surprise little party so that you could surprise me with this not-so-important news in the most dramatic manner. Isn’t it so, guys?” –Kabir seemed to get agitated.

“What do you mean by not-so-important news? Didn’t you use to love her? Or guess what? You still love her. You are being so pathetic to hide something you are so passionate about!” – It was Neha’s turn to get angry on Kabir.

Kabir was about to say something in reply to Neha’s allegation but decided not to. He knows there aren’t many people who can understand him. Even though they are his childhood friends they hardly discern Kabir’s pulses. The party that was so far so good suddenly had morphed into a forlorn and taciturn gathering.

Flashbacks took Kabir to the wedding night of Gouri, one of his closest friends. Gouri was introducing her friends and relatives to each other. Sohini was Gouri’s college friend. All Kabir could remember that she was looking strikingly beautiful in a yellow salwar and little ponytail. She impressed Kabir not only with her stunning appearance but also with her sense of humor. Surprisingly, Kabir still remembers the first conversation between him and Sohini.

“Don’t you think yellow is too dull a color to match with the bright personality that you possess?” –Kabir started the conversion.

“I must say this is too poor a move to try impressing a woman with bright personality. I believe that yellow is pretty bright and it suites me.” – Sohini responded smartly.

“At least I’ve made a move. There is always room for improvement!”

That was the start. They became good friends. Kabir doesn’t open up to many people, but he did open up to her. He started sharing with her his thoughts, desires which he never thought he could share with anyone. No, Kabir did not change. He remained as weird as always. He just found a person to share his weirdness with.

Kabir was brought back to reality when his friends started bidding him good night. He could not sleep yesterday as numerous thoughts started ensuing in his brain. From his childhood dreams to college life events, even the forgotten incidents were appearing one by one as Kabir was turning the pages of his memory.

(2)

One fundamental thing has always remained common in the eventful life of Kabir. Whatever or whoever he has tried to cling on to, has either failed him in the hour of need miserably or has forced him to change his mind. He always wanted to be a cricketer but society taught him that education is of higher priority as it yields quicker. Society was right. Kabir left his passion behind and studied hard. Now he earns handsome salary and society praises him. Now he is void of passion and despises himself for his choice. Kabir never has had anyone whom you can call his best friend, for in him always lies a veil which helps him suppress his emotions from everyone, well, almost everyone! Kabir, expectedly, has had terrible experiences regarding relationships. Everything was going great with Hiya, a wonderful dancer who was his college friend, till the moment when she discovered his lifestyle was incompatible with hers.

Jadavpur to Saltlake is a considerable journey, especially in the morning, when there is rush. It’s easy to get frustrated sitting inside the bus and viewing never ending traffic jam ahead. Kabir still remembers the day when he met Sohini for the second time. He was helped with the fact that Sohini lived at Golpark and used to take the same office bus to get to office. 

That day, he was cursing Kolkata traffic as much as he could.

“Easy, mate! It’s not easy to handle traffic when thousands of people are using the same route to get to offices at same location at the same time!”

-The lady with ponytail appeared in Brown printed Top and Black stretchable Jeans, staring at Kabir, standing in front of him, smiling rather in sarcasm!

What a surprise, Kabir thought. He was surprised he didn’t notice this interesting lady prior to that day.

“Someone seems to be in no hurry to get to office” – Kabir was no amateur in making mockery!

“Someone is being smart! Anyway, I see an empty seat beside you. Can I seat or is it reserved for your girlfriend?” – Sohini winked at him.

“There you go! Poor, one tracked mind of yours.”

“I see. Let me guess..” – She sat beside him without waiting to hear his response. “Are you suffering from a break up?”

Kabir never thought a lady could ask him this on their second meeting. Then again, unusual attracts him.

“No.”

“You’re lying.”

“No I’m not! I have recently gone through a break up. But I’m not suffering from that!”

“There you are, pretending to be strong.” – She again winked at him.

They both burst out laughing. That conversation just fueled their friendship. They used to discuss on anything and everything, politics to reality shows, culinary skills to astronomy.

Sohini had a boyfriend. That meant nothing to Kabir as it didn’t prevent him from sharing his weirdness with her. There were days when Kabir thought it wouldn’t be bad if he had a girlfriend like her. Then his timid instincts reminded him of his ill-experiences with the ones whom he relied on. Plus he was quite sure by then about his inability to carry a relationship on. It didn’t take long for all to be assured that Kabir was in love. He didn’t bother to correct them, for he always has had a gifted power of ignorance.

(3)

Kabir was in office cafeteria, having lunch. His phone began to ring, much to his surprise, displaying Gouri’s name on the screen. She hadn’t contacted with him in months.

“Hello, what a surprise.” –Kabir picked it up.

“Hi, Kabir ! How’s everything going? I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“Absolutely not! Tell me where have you been? How are you?”

“I’m doing well, Kabir. Listen, I need to tell you something.”

“Yes, sure. Go on.”

“Sohini’s going to get married.”

“What?”

“Yes. You may not like the news but..”

“Of course I don’t like the fact that it’s you, not the person who is going to get married, is informing me.”

“That’s all you are not happy about?”

“Yes.” - Kabir said after few moments of pause.

“Is it really so, Kabir?”

“Why would it be otherwise? Shouldn’t I be happy when a friend of mine decides to get married?”

“Ok, that’s good. I thought, I thought you…Anyway take care, right? And meet us sometime, busy bee. Ok, bye.”

“Bye. You take care too.”

Kabir didn’t know how to react to this. He was sure he didn’t nurture any feelings towards Sohini. But, something lacked in admitting he was happy.

Everyone thought that Kabir would not show up on the wedding day of Sohini. Kabir didn’t only show up, he did everything that a brother could do on his sister’s wedding, leaving everyone flabbergasted. But the question is, did Sohini suspect anything? Did she gaze any weakness of Kabir towards her? More importantly, did she rear any weakness towards him? Kabir never wanted to know the answers. These are some questions that he thought, are always better unanswered.

Kabir loved writing. Inside the gift that he presented Sohini on her wedding night, prevailed four lines-

He smiled at her.

She smiled back at him.

Then they lived happily ever after.

She, with her husband and he, alone, writing about her.

(4)

Kabir woke up late today with the fatigue of not having sound sleep the last night. He had to prepare himself quickly for office as he has an important meeting there. No sooner did he get the office bus from 8B bus stand, his phone started ringing. Kabir presses the red button appearing on the screen as the number is unknown and he has to prepare the speech for today’s meeting. After fifteen minutes, his phone starts ringing again, much to his anguish, displaying the same unknown number on the screen. This time Kabir decides to pick it up.

“Hello. Who’s this? “- Kabir seems to be annoyed.

“Belated happy birthday , moron.”- The unknown voice uttered. There is a lady on the other side.

Kabir clearly doesn’t recognize the voice and is in no mood for mischief. It must be one of his friends testing his patience, he thought.

“Thank you. May I know the good name of the wisher?”

“Who can behave as weird as you to wish someone on the very next day of his birthday? Who can understand your weirdness without asking any questions and consider that you are one of a kind?”

Kabir clearly feels the tremble in his hands. He now knows who the caller is. He just doesn’t know why she has called him to wish on his birthday after so many days.

“Why didn’t you keep in touch for..”- Kabir is now at loss of words.

“Oh God! How can you be so poetic? Do you want me to believe you were waiting for me? Were you supposed to propose me if you’d met me?”

“Somebody hasn’t even changed a bit.”

“What did you think? Did you expect me to be morose after divorce? For God’s sake, no! It was not working.The divorce was mutual and I earn more than enough to run a family. Need I feel distressed at all?”

“I’m impressed.”

“I’ve always impressed you.”

“So you are back at Golpark?”-Kabir wants to change the topic. He has forgotten that he has an important meeting today at office.

“Yes. But don’t be overjoyed. When am I getting your birthday treat? “

“Tomorrow?”

“Why not today?”

“Today I have an important meeting..”

“You’ll always have meetings. But you will never have the opportunity to date a divorced lady.” –Although Kabir could not see her, he could feel that she just winked at him.

“Yes I agree. But I need to be financially stable to continue dating. For that I need my job intact. For that I need to attend today’s meeting..”

“Ok moron. Ok. Meeting you at Coffee House today. Let me know when you can meet in the evening. I guess your meeting isn’t going to continue for the whole day.”

“Yes. Take care. Bye bye.”

They always used to meet at Jadavpur Coffee House. Some things never change. Some people never change. Kabir understands how much he has missed her. Neither he loves her nor he is going to propose her. He has missed the support that he has always received from her. He has missed the fresh air that Sohini brings about. The air was confined in a claustrophobic room for two long years. Now it’s Kabir’s responsibility to let it blow and get blown.

For the first time in his life, Kabir felt proud at being muddled and untidy in nature. He would never have tasted the disentangled joy if his life wasn’t topsy-turvy. He wouldn’t have felt the fresh air if he were in a relationship with her. For he had let the air pass, it has come back to bewilder him. For the first time, someone who he has relied on, neither has failed him nor has forced him to change his mind.

The White Hat

The White Hat

Rehan had always been adamant throughout his life, caring for none but himself. He had never bothered to ask any of his relatives or friends how they were doing. He had never entertained any suggestions from anybody on any of the decisions that he had made in his life. His parents had always wanted him to be a professor, but he wanted to taste the flavor of the software industry. He had experienced several romantic relationships in his life, expectedly, none of them lasting long enough. The fact that he is so self-centered, he almost ignores the existence or importance of others in his life.

But nothing lasts forever. Two incidents within a span of seven days morphed his life radically. The girl who he was finally be able to be comfortable with, reprobated him suddenly. For the first time, he looked shivered. The fact that someone had left him, wasn't anything unusual. However,  the way he reacted to the betrayal, was really unusual. This time he was more serious, more involved in the relationship and that's why probably he was taking more time to get into his groove.

A week later, something worse was waiting for him. He got royally screwed by the renowned multinational software company that he was working for, since the last 5 years. It happened without any prior notice, giving him very little time to cope with it. That lousy afternoon, when he walked out of the office premises, all he had with him were a pink slip and a world full of ordeal.

Rehan was wondering whether he had any reasons left to live for. For once he walked down the memory lane to Rohtak, his birthplace, the place where his parents live, the place which he left for Kolkata for the job he got 5 years back. He couldn't call his parents and tell them what happened because he had never discussed his problems with them. Tanya, his ex-girlfriend, who he could have called up to find some hope, had dumped him already. He had never made good friends anyway, all he had made were classmates, neighbors and colleagues. He's been a commitment freak in every sense.

Rehan was in search for a miracle. He was in search for a hero who could get him out of his miseries. They always say that Kolkata is the city of joy; there's something in the air of this city that would intrigue you, tantalize you. But how wrong could they be! There was no sign of hope.

Rehan headed to his flat at Karunamoyee unwillingly, knowing that tomorrow he won't have to get up at the sound of the ringing alarm in the morning. Not that he was thrilled to be at his workplace, but it was something that he had. His parents are wealthy enough and financially he would survive, but what does he have here now? What's the point? Thinking about all this, he was about to unlock the door knob. Suddenly he got a pat on his back. He looked back and there was a pretty lady standing at his doorsteps. She was elegantly dressed up.

"Excuse me! Could you please get me a knife? " --The lady presented an unorthodox request in the most casual manner.

"Yes, I guess I could! But why would you need a knife?" --Rehan was left bemused.

"There's a secret." --Then she went for a pause, looked back suspiciously as if someone is following her and requested, "Can I please come inside? Of course, if you don't mind!"

Rehan couldn't remember when was the last time so many unexpected events happened to him in a single day. It is kinda overwhelming. He didn't know whether he should let her in because these days people are hard to be trusted. In addition, the lady was behaving far from being normal.

"What drove you to this pensive mood? See, I'm not a terrorist. Had I had been one, I wouldn't have wasted my time chattering with you! Neither do I belong a gang of robbers who would rob your belongings!"- The lady had gone restless, getting no answers from Rehan.

Rehan was left with no options but inviting the young lady in.

"Thanks a lot! Although it proves you are stupid. I wouldn't have let anyone inside in this fashion if I were you! Now please have a seat because I have something important to tell you."-- In the meantime she somehow managed a chair to sit on. Rehan was so perplexed that he couldn't say anything in reply. But he could find one spare chair for himself to sit on at least.

"Now listen carefully and don't say anything until I'm finished."

"But who are you? Where are you from? Do I know you? And what are you doing here anyway?"-Questions kept pouring out in a flash from Rehan's mouth, as if they just got out of the jail.

"See, I am here to ask for a knife. Now don't laugh at me just because I'm searching for a knife. I need a knife to go commit suicide. Now that I'm going to suicide, what would you do knowing my name? "

"Wait, what? You're going to attempt suicide? Oh, dear me! How on earth did you think that I would let you to do something like that, here, in my home?"

"Hey, chill! I'm not going to do that here. I have only asked for a knife. Rest is not your concern! No sooner I will get a knife, than I will leave your place."

"Now that you've unfolded the mystery, why would I give you a knife knowing that I might get into trouble in future?"

"Because you had allowed me to enter in your place knowing that you might get into trouble! Didn't you?"

"You're a psychopath! you truly are one! Now don't create any more scenes or I have to take other steps."

"Call police, maybe? You think they'll believe you?"

"What do you want? A knife? wait!" -Rehan rushed to the kitchen and brought a knife with him in a hurry."--"Take it and leave me alone.' 

"Thanks! Actually I don't have a penny left to buy one! Before asking you, I asked few others to give me a knife. But when they heard that I was going to, you know, kill myself with that thing, they thought I was mad, they started insulting me, refused to listen to me, unlike you. So I owe you big time! Sadly I don't have anything to give you, absolutely nothing."--The lady had already been off her seat.

That change of tone was rather unexpected. Rehan felt a thousand feelings in one moment. He was unnerved so deeply that he felt that he should ask the lady the reason behind the suicidal mission.

"But why? Why do you want to suicide? "

"Why do you live? Why do we live? What's living according to you?"

Rehan wasn't prepared to answer this.

"I understand. You don't know what living is all about. You've probably never given it a thought! That's okay. "--The lady smiled and then continued-"We all live for reasons. Some have many, some have a few, some are left with only one reason to live for. When you are left with none, you get to know what living was all about! I hope you never get a chance to understand that, but unfortunately I do."

-- She was on her way to depart. Rehan got a feeling that he had to stop this lady from doing anything silly. He was not sure whether she was telling him the truth or not, but one thing he was sure was that she needed treatment.

"I think you need to consult a specialist."--Although it sounded stupid in his head too, he couldn't help but give her this piece of advice.

"You think you're the first person to suggest me to do so?"

"I honestly feel you can discuss your problems with me, even though I'm no more than a stranger to you."

"And you'll bring my dead father back to life and you'll make sure that my dying mother is cured when the reputed surgeons have given up?"

"Oh God! I.." -Rehan didn't know how to complete the sentence.

"Just shut up. I'm bored of hearing sympathetic speeches. You wanted to discuss , right? Let's discuss." She sat back on the chair.

"I just want you to calm down. Please have a seat. Just relax! I understand that life hasn't been fair to you. But you must admit that attempting a suicide can not be a solution. Mustn't you? "

"That's not all. We had a small family. It's been six months since my dad passed away in a car accident. My mom lost her memory in the same accident and since then she hasn't spoken a word, hasn't recognized anybody. For the last one month her health condition is on a decline . She was expected to undergo a heart surgery today at Apollo, provided I could arrange the money today. And guess what? I lost all of it in a crowded bus an hour back. And you are asking me to calm down? Fair enough, right? Oh, wait! I missed one thing! One month back, I was alleged of being irresponsible at my workplace because I was more concerned about my dying mother's health than what I was assigned to work on. And I knew that the situation was never going to change. So I resigned."--When her roller coaster speech ended, she was trembling in excitement. 

"Were you out of your mind? You knew you had to stand firm. " - Rehan got vexed with her as she was seemingly behaving like an escapist. He was wondering how he got so much involved with her problems. Minutes back, all he was concerned about was his future, how's he going to survive, who's going to obviate his sufferings. Having spent a few minutes with this troubled and somewhat insane lady, he has come to know that there are people who are more troubled than him. 

"Saying is easy! Have you ever spent sleepless nights? Have you been used to live alone, absolutely alone, knowing that nothing is ever going to change?"

Rehan remained silent. Although he wished he could tell someone what he was going through, he decided to take control of his emotions.

"I knew you wouldn't utter a word. Need I say more?" --The lady smiled, flavored with a touch of sarcasm.

But Rehan was not going to lose this battle so easily. He understood that he had to depict one reason that could be enough for the lady to emend her stubborn decision. He set his mind up, he knew he would do everything to save a life, come what may!

"Yes you do, young lady! Have you ever contemplated why are you alive and able to talk to me? Because your mother gave birth to you. Have you ever pondered why were you able to leave your job and yet able to spend hopeless nights silently? Because you love your mother immensely. People live with hope even when there are no signs of it. Tell me one thing! You are distressed, you have nothing to cling on but you are still dressed up so elegantly. Do you know why? Let me tell you the reason. Everyday you wake up with the belief that today is the day your mother will recognize you and speak to you. You dress up well because you want your mother to smile and say to you- 'There you are, my beautiful child'. Had your purse not been stolen today, you would have carried the money to the hospital by now. Do you know what your mother would be saying to herself, had she had senses to feel?" ---Rehan didn't know that he could speak so spontaneously. Rehan didn't know that he could be so engaged in a conversation. 

For the first time, the lady seemed to be uncertain. She couldn't maintain eye contact with Rehan. It was evident that she was thinking about something. Rehan was getting irksome with the awkward silence.

"What would she be saying to herself? " The ice was broken. Rehan could literally literally heave a sigh of relief. 

"That her child is a coward! How easily have you decided to put an end to your life! You have to fight. Now that you have spent painful nights with all your heart, you must not let it go in vain. You understand what I'm saying? You must not let it slip." - Rehan literally felt trembles in his hands.

"What would I do then? I have nothing left." She nodded her head down in hopelessness.

"I have. When's your mother's heart operation scheduled? Are we too late?"

"What? No, not at all. I can't take help from you."

"Why not? "

"Why do you want to waste your money on me? You want to show how much you have got or want to purchase my loyalty?"

"But how? I don't even know your name and I don't want to know unless you want me to know. See I'm in no mood to discuss bullshit with you! You think you're are only person who is troubled? Today I got fired from my job. I know you have problems of greater magnitude but try to understand why I'm doing this. I don't want you to die. You got my point?"

"I didn't know. I'm sorry. I have become a psychopath and I know that. But still I can't take your money unless I get to know why you are being so generous. You are a sensible person. You could have listened to my bullshit, consider that a made up story and politely ask me to leave your place. Why didn't you do that, mister?"

"Because I would have become you, had I had not met you! I could have become as hopeless as you are now, had I had not met you! I was searching for a white hat, someone who is often brought about to put an end to all miseries in books and films." - Rehan smiled but felt that his eyes were getting wet.

"But I'm no white hat." - No surprise that the lady seemed to be flabbergasted.

"Don't worry! You will understand, if not today, someday. Give me five minutes. I'm still wearing formals." -Rehan paused for a few seconds, indicated towards the wash-room and continued- "In the meantime you can freshen yourself up."- Rehan promptly left his chair. When he entered his room, he heard a faint yet continuous sound of crying. Rehan felt relieved, he realised that he had perhaps saved a life. 

And then Rehan Shergill called professor Karanveer Shergill up. When the receiver picked the phone up, Rehan didn't give him a chance to speak. 
"Dad, I'm coming home. Tell mom that I'm coming home! " And then Rehan disconnected the phone. 

Rehan was feeling happy. He didn't know that there was happiness to be discovered in calling his father up, and in letting him know that he was coming home. 

When Rehan came out of his room, he saw that the lady sitting on the same chair, looking straight at him. Only change he could gaze was her smile. Yes, she was smiling!

"Hi! I'm Aheli, Aheli Basu." The lady revealed her name with a smile in her pretty face.

"Hi! I'm Rehan Shergill! " - Rehan returned her a smile. "Shall we?" 

"Yes, sure! I want you to know that you have saved a life! And that's not the only thing. You gave me hope. You made be believe in life. And I honestly don't know how to thank you for that! I just hope there's a way I can pay you back. "

"You need not mention it. Any half decent human being would have done the same thing!" - Rehan replied while locking the door from outside. 

They were walking. They were not talking to each other. Aheli was thinking how Rehan had saved his life. She was wondering how Rehan remained so unmoved, as if he had done the same thing before, as if he had gone through a rehearsal before the final act. 

Rehan was thinking about his mother. She used to tell Rehan a story whenever Rehan used to be in a bad mood in his childhood. The story is about a hero who appears, when called upon, to wipe out the suffering of common men. Rehan got to know how it feels to get helped by a hero, saved by a hero.  

One thing his mother had never told him, even when she used to stay up late beside him whenever he got sick. He knows his father, he's a hero! He single handedly rebuilt the fortune of their family, made it flourish! But he never discussed about that thing. Maybe that's what it takes to be a hero! Maybe that's the thing that all the heroes need to hide from the world, even from their loved ones. And all of a sudden, he's found a secret that he has to keep. That's what he didn't want to discuss with Aheli. 

Aheli was wondering why Rehan had gone so silent, suddenly! Little did she know that Rehan had finally discovered what he was searching for, a white hat! 

The Perks of being affluent

The Perks of being affluent

A black Porsche stopped by the roadside tea stall, appearing as an impediment to the ongoing daily conversation between the regular customers and the busy shopkeeper. Most of the customers work in the nearby Jute mill and face hardship to make both ends meet. The shopkeeper isn’t doing much better.

"What a surprise! Is it really you, Sam?" - the owner seemed to be ecstatic looking at the smart, fashionable young man who was out of his car in a flash.

Rest of the customers were taken aback at the tone the owner used to address the seemingly wealthy guy. They, with their finite thought process, couldn't accept the fact that an owner of a tiny stall can have acquaintance with a guy who owns a fancy car.

"Yes. Do I know you?" - Young man didn't seem to have recognized him. "Anyway, do you have Navy Cut in your store?"

"Sam, it's me, Govind. Remember, we used to sit together in the backbenches back at school. Then my father died in that accident and I had to..."- Govind was hurt because Sam couldn't recognize him, or worse, he didn’t want to accept that.

"Hello Sir, I am not here to listen to your sad stories and waste my time."- Sam was becoming restless." Maybe you and I studied in the same batch in school. But so did hundreds of other students. And I can't remember all of them. Can I?"

Govind couldn't believe what he just heard from Sam who was one of his best friends back at school. He is not just any of the hundred other students. They studied in tuitions together, play played together, they grew up together. After 12^th standard, Sam’s family moved out to some place else. And they never got to meet again.

Meanwhile, rest of the customers were starting to enjoy the conversation as this was not something, they get a chance to witness every day. Some of them had already started to mock at Govind.

"Here is your Navy Cut, Sir." -Govind didn't want to show Sam that he was hurt.

"Thanks." Sam handed a 500 rupee note to Govind.

" Sorry, Sir. I don't have changes." -Govind was put into a difficult phase.

"You can keep the change" -Sam grabbed the packet of Navy Cut and was about to head towards his car.

"Listen, Sam." Govind couldn't bear the insult anymore. He continued-

"You may be rich. You may own a fashionable car. You may have a lifestyle that a very few can have. But, it's all about character. You refuse to recognize your friend when you find out that he is living a sub-standard life. You insult a poor shopkeeper by showing off your money. You know what? I need these 500 rupees more than you do. I can lead a cozier life for a week with the money. But I have my conscience clear, my friend. Consider the packet of cigarettes a gift from your childhood friend." He threw the 500 rupee note towards Sam in revulsion.

Sam picked up the note from the ground dubiously. Then he gave it to one of the customers present in the stall and said, "Give it to my friend when he gets calmed down." , indicating Govind.

Govind couldn't relate the snob person who refused to recognize him as a friend with the polite person who handed over the money to an anonymous customer, mentioning him as a friend.

Sam couldn't wait there to watch Govind's reaction.

Sam was driving, but the words of Govind were still ringing in his ears. He knew that he had misbehaved with his friend.

 He was in desperate need for his favorite pack of cigarettes. He was on the highway. He had to stop his car by a roadside tea stall to get them. It was his misfortune that he came across his old friend.

Now comes the question. Why did he refuse to remember his old friend? Govind was correct. Sam is rich. Sam owns a Porsche which was gifted by his father on his last birthday. Sam has in his wallet the amount of pocket money that Govind earns in months, maybe a year. But is that all? Is that how we should stereotype the rich?

It took Sam 5 seconds to understand the condition of Govind. Now that's what is the perk of being an affluent person. You can easily judge a poor person's state of mind and hide yourself in luxurious suits and accessories. If you are rich and well-established in your society, you must dress up well, behave like you are going to conquer the world and walk like a champion irrespective of the state of mind that you possess. And what if you cannot control your emotions? Well, hide it in your arrogance. Behave like everybody's going to hate you. So that you don’t have to chitchat, so that your misery stays a secret to the world. Now, nobody gets near you. Now it becomes easier for you to handle your emotions.

Sam was aware that Govind had lost his father. He was genuinely sorry about it. But he could not afford to talk about it as he had also lost his parents a week back. No, they are alive and living their life joyously, but with different life partners. The saddest thing for Sam about the incident was, neither his mother, nor his father regretted about their decision. Nobody wanted to keep Sam. So, Sam was free, independent and lonely. But he didn't have to worry financially because he had his own car, his bank account was getting credited with huge amount of money every week by his parents. He had got a whole new flat, a whole new living place, a whole new world of solitude. Now, he was supposed to adjust to the situation because he was rich. Even if he didn’t like it, he could not go to his friends and tell them about it because it would harm the reputations of his parents. So, he started showing off his money, why shouldn't he? This was what he was left with.

He left his flat that day, planning to commit suicide. He was hell bent on crashing his car in the highway, it would have been a classic tribute to his affluency. He was in search of a suitable place to achieve it because he had to make sure he died. Then out of nowhere he wanted to have a smoke and then he met his old friend. He found out that there was still a person who loved him, there was someone who was disappointed when he misbehaved with him. He felt weaker, he couldn't attempt to commit suicide anymore, he didn’t feel like committing. He drove back to his place. He unlocked his door and the first thing that occurred to him is how to plan suicide the next day.

It’s been a week. He has been planning a way of getting rid of his pointless life every day, but every day he keeps receiving a sign that there are people who still love him. Someday it’s the gatekeeper of the house they used to live in, someday it’s the petrol pump guy who helps him fill petrol in his car, today it was his old friend. But how long can they keep saving his life? How long until his lifelines get used up? How long until he finally succeeds?

Unfortunately the world sees the rich only one way, the wealthy can't be sad, the wealthy can't feel disappointment, the wealthy can't be treated unfairly, the wealthy can’t miss out on anything. It’s easier to judge someone who comes out of a Porsche. The irony is that, sometimes financial stability is the only thing that the wealthy people have, and then they get judged for having that.

Not Just Another Day

Not Just Another Day

It was just another day, until a tall, fair, middle-aged person came across my way, when I was about to cross the road to reach my college. To be frank, I didn’t even notice him, until my ears were attracted to an orotund voice saying, “Excuse me, Sir. Do you have a minute?”

 

“Yes. How can I help you?” – I was in a hurry.

 

“I’m hungry. I have no money. Can you give me some?”

 

I was surprised to say the least. May be, my boastful eyes and ears couldn’t believe that a person who is begging to someone can come with such decent attitude and fluent English accent. Or maybe my worldly learning was inadequate till then.

The person could read the disbelief on my face. He came up with another idea-

“Ten rupees will do, Sir. Or you can accompany me to any shop where I can have something to eat.”

 

“Are you sure that you want ten rupees?”- I couldn’t resist myself from asking what I was suppressing for long. Well, it was as long a minute, tops. But it seemed lot more than that to me.

 

“Yes, Sir.” - He smiled and added “I don’t look like a beggar, right?”

I could only nod with an affirmative gesture as I was at a loss of words then.

 

“I beg in my own way Sir. I want to dress up well, speak like a gentleman. Even though I am no more than a beggar now, I want to behave like the person that I once used to be. But sorry, Sir, I can’t work in a roadside teashop or live the life of a cobbler. Because that hurts my ego. So, I beg. I feel more freedom over here, Sir. Nobody can boss me in my profession. If someone does not want to help me, no problem. Some other people will. Am I not living a better life than the cobbler sitting just next to you? Tell me, Sir. Don’t I have the freedom to live my life on my own?”

 

Everything he then said made me believe that he must have been using this speech every day, with a lot of people. I just happened to cross his paths that day.

I picked a ten rupee note from my wallet and handed over it to the most astonishing person I’ve ever met in my life.

 

“Thank you. I hope you remember me, Sir. Bye”- He disappeared in the crowded street of the city, leaving me stunned, spellbound and bewildered.

 

I had many things to tell him but couldn’t. I could tell him that begging is a sin when he is physically and mentally sound, he should find a job, be it of a travelling salesman, or a cobbler.

 

Years have gone by. I am not anymore, a college student. Whenever I sit and ponder over that incident, I feel how much pain he had to go through to choose to beg. Political freedom has been achieved long ago, but our society still has got some characteristics which show signs of being in bondage. A cobbler gets insulted for nothing, a travelling salesman must listen to dirty words which so-called gentlemen use to shrug off their frustration. People misuse their freedom on a regular basis.

 

If begging is a sin, then what about insulting innocent people who work tirelessly to make both ends meet? People talk about freedom, but hardly they understand the true meaning of it. People love to boss others around, and don’t want to get bossed. When will all of us realize that no profession is small and that everyone contributes in their own way?

 

The longer people will take to realize this small thing, the more the number of travelling, literate beggars will increase. Someday, some way you will have to stop and stare at the person who will request you saying “Excuse me, Sir. Do you have a minute?”